Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie/Transcript
Prologue :(Miles' journal spins into view.) Arnold :(offscreen) Grandma! Grandpa! You have to see this! I found a map! :(Crossfade to a plane flying in the night sky.) Arnold :(voiceover) A map, the key to finally finding my missing parents. :(The plane flies into a mountainous area as the title appears on screen.) The jungle :(Arnold climbs up the mountain wearing a pilot's uniform. He sees footprints embedded on a path.) Arnold :This has gotta be them. :(Arnold takes off his helmet and flips the pages of his father's journal to the map. Arnold continues following the footprints through hither and yon until he comes upon a temple.) The temple :(Arnold shines a flashlight over his surroundings, with resemble the inside of the boarding house.) Arnold :Mom? Dad? Where are you? :(Arnold comes upon a room with two large doors kept guard by two giant statues resembling his grandparents. The door shines a light and he sees his parents, silhouetted.) Miles and Stella :Arnold! Arnold :Mom! Dad! Stella :I can't believe how much you've grown. Miles :And you're still wearing the hat we gave you! :(Arnold attempts to approach his parents for a hug, but they disappear.) Arnold :Wait. I've been looking for you, trying to find you. Stella :I know. What have we missed? Miles :Show us the neighborhood. Arnold :What? :(Arnold looks in the direction of a rumbling volcano in the distance as the scenery starts to warp.) Arnold :This is really weird! Mom? Dad? Miles and Stella :Yes, Arnold? Arnold :You've been lost for so long! I mean, I always believed you were alive somehow, but... :(An airplane flies over Arnold's shadowed parents and over Arnold's head a la ''North by Northwest.)'' Eduardo :Stella, Miles, I need you for one last mission! Arnold :Wait! Where are you going?! Miles :We're off on another mission with Eduardo! Arnold :No! Not again! Miles and Stella :Bye, Arnold! :(Arnold looks down and sees a heart-shaped hole in his chest growing.) Arnold's room :(Arnold wakes up gasping and falls out of his bed. He looks at his desk area, which is covered with photos and various relics concerning his parents. He takes down a photo of his parents with Eduardo.) Arnold :I wonder if I'll ever find them. Sunset Arms main floor :(Arnold walks down the stairs as a toilet is heard flushing and Grandpa walks out of the W.C. as usual.) Arnold :I know, Grandpa. "Don't go in there for a while." Grandpa :(tossing Arnold's hair) Ho ho! Ya know me so well, short man. Arnold :Did you wash your hands? :(Timpani shot.) Grandpa :I knew I forgot somethin'. (walks back in) Arnold :Grandpa, I had that dream again. Grandpa :Oh? What happened this time? Arnold :My parents were here— well, sort of— and it seemed like they were gonna stay. Grandpa :But then they left on another mission. Oh, I'm sorry, Arnold. I miss them, too. But I'm glad you get to see them even if it's only in a dream. Sunset Arms lobby Grandpa :Oh, but it's better than the nightmare I'' keep havin'. I live in a rundown old boarding house, renting my rooms to a bunch o' weirdos who always want things from me. :(In the dining room, plates fly over Grandpa's head.)'' Ernie :Hey, Gramps, what's for breakfast?! I'm starvin' here! Starvin', do ya hear me?! Grandpa :(to Ernie) Imagine that! (to Arnold) It's a livin' nightmare. Oskar :Make me a sandwich, old man. Mr. Hyunh :Crispy fries and a tofu burger for me, please, and step on it! Ernie :Hey, Arnold! Finally, someone with some sense around here! Arnold :Hi, Ernie! Oskar :Hey, Arnold. Arnold :Hi, Oskar. Mr. Hyunh :Hey, Arnold, good to see you. Arnold :Hi, Mr. Hyunh. Grandma :(as a striking union worker) All power to the workin' stiffs! All power to the proletariat! We demand a living wage! Arnold :Morning, Grandma. Grandma :(off bullhorn) Hello, dear. Grandpa :You're not foolin' anyone, Pookie! Back in the kitchen! Abner :(snorts) Arnold :Abner, I don't have any food. Oh, except this apple here. Abner :(sniffs, grunts disgustedly) Arnold :I know what ''you want.'' :(Arnold tosses some bacon to Abner, which he eats.) Abner :(grunts happily) Arnold :Bye, everyone! Come on, Abner! Mr. Hyunh :A pig eating bacon? It's very creepy. Sunset Arms :(Gerald is seen walking outside the building. Arnold opens up the door.) Ernie :See ya, Arnold! Oskar :Arnold, be well! :(As usual, several animals run out of the boarding house, followed by a bat.) Gerald :Hey, Arnold, ready for the best day of school? Arnold :The best day, Gerald? Gerald :Yeah. Today's the last day of school. Therefore, by my calculations... Arnold :It's the best day. :(Arnold and Gerald do their thumbs up handshake and walk toward P.S. 118.) Big Bob's Beepers :(As evidenced by the "Everything Must Go" banner above the building, Big Bob's is no longer the beeper empire it once was. Helga walks out the door to join Phoebe, followed by Big Bob wearing a bathrobe, who gets the morning paper.) Big Bob :Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Where do you two think you're going?! Helga :School, Dad! Remember? Kids? School? The place we go to get away from doofs like you? Big Bob :Fine. Go learn. But come right back and help me sort beepers. Helga :Didn't you get the memo, Bob? Nobody wants beepers anymore! Ever heard of cell phones? :(Helga throws away a beeper, which Phoebe catches.) The street Phoebe :It is true, Helga. A communication device used to alert someone to make a phone call: a relic of an obsolete technology. Helga :I hate beepers! Well, the only thing that I can kind of tolerate— Oof! Arnold :Ooh! (Helga and Arnold, as usual, bump into each other.) Helga :Arnold! I mean, I said, everybody out of my way, hair boy! Jeez! What are ya, blind?! Doncha even know how to not crash into people! Gerald :Got one more, Helga? :(Arnold reaches out his hand to help Helga up, but she slaps it away.) Helga :Ha! Yeah! Maybe you should get walking lessons for your birthday, Arnold! Arnold :(chuckles) Whatever you say, Helga. Helga :(sarcastically) Ooh, good comeback, Arnoldo! Doi! C'mon, Pheebs. Phoebe :Following. P.S. 118 :(The school bell rings and Mr. Simmons greets all the students at the door. Crossfade to later that afternoon.) Mr. Simmons :All right, class, settle. Mr. Simmons' class Mr. Simmons (cont'd) :I know you're all excited about the last day of school, but get ready for even more exciting news! Harold :Is it that I can do this? :(Harold puts both of his fists into his mouth. Sid and Stinky applaud reluctantly.) Mr. Simmons :No, it's not, Harold. Anyway, the news is, we've been selected to compete in a very special contest! A great humanitarian organization in Central America that helps the less fortunate is sponsoring it. They build habitats that provide living space in the rainforest. And they wanna celebrate kids that exemplify their spirit! Phoebe :Mr. Simmons, what do we have to do win the contest? Mr. Simmons :Excellent question, Phoebe! We submit a video presentation of our class being humanitarians in our own neighborhood! Sid :What's the prize? Mr. Simmons :Curly? :(Curly performs a drumroll with his pencils on his desk.) Mr. Simmons :A class trip to San Lorenzo! Arnold :San Lorenzo? The San Lorenzo? Harold :Is that the new Mexican restaurant? Stinky :Naw. That place has been there a while. Mr. Simmons :Close, Stinky. It's a beautiful, proud republic to our south. This is where we'll go if we win the contest. Harold :To a Mexican restaurant! Mr. Simmons :No. To San Lorenzo, the country. And the organization that will host us is called "Helpers for Humanity." Arnold :That was the group my parents worked for! Gerald :And isn't it the same San Lorenzo where your parents disappeared? It's almost like this contest is designed for you. Helga :Quiet down, jerk-faces! I'm trying to concentrate on the clock. Mr. Simmons :Class, I know you're excited to get to work on this video presentation, even though it's the last day of school. :(The clock strikes two and the bell rings.) Students :School's out for summer! :(The students all stampede out the door.) Harold :I have a summer of stuff to eat! Helga :So long, suckers! :(Arnold raises his hand.) Arnold :I'll do it! Gerald :I will, too! Mr. Simmons :Great! We're on our way to winning. It's due in a week. :(Brass sting.) The streets of Hillwood :(Later that evening, Arnold and Gerald pass by Chloe and Peapod Kid talking on the stoop of a building.) Arnold :Okay, we'll make the best video ever. Gerald :We'll win this thing, go to San Lorenzo, and find your lost parents. Arnold :Yeah, but the prize isn't a free trip for me to go looking for them. Gerald :True, but how can you not try to find your lost parents, especially since you've got your best friend to help? Arnold :(laughs) Okay, let's win this contest. Gerald :And get you some answers. It'll be our secret. (They fist bump and do their thumbs-up handshake.) Gerald :Now, we just gotta do somethin' humanitarian. Monkeyman :(humming and planting a flower) Monkeyman. Arnold :I know! Let's build a habitat for Monkeyman, right here on the river! Gerald :You're a bold kid, Arnold. Montage :(Arnold and Gerald get to work getting supplies. Back at the Sunset Arms, Arnold crosses off a day on his calendar. The next day, Arnold and Gerald get out some supplies from Grandpa's Packard. As the montage continues, Arnold, Gerald and Monkeyman continue their handiwork and Arnold crosses more days off his calendar. Arnold and Gerald take a sofa out of the dumpster, but some homeless people look angrily at them.) Homeless Man #1 :Hey! :(The montage resumes until it gets closer to the day the project is due.) The river :(Camcorder footage.) Arnold :(narrating) Where once was a dirty urban riverbank, we've provided a comfortable floating dwelling for one, as well as a habitat for the local birdlife! Monkeyman :Monkeyman! Gerald :Great, Arnold! Now i just shoot some more angles of our awesome completed habitat! :(The homeless raid the habitat.) Homless Man #2 :I was hoarding that! Homeless Woman :My tire collection! Homeless Man #2 :I'm takin' it all back! Homeless Man #1 :Thief! Thief! Homeless Woman :They took my stuff! Homeless Man #1 :That bird's my lunch! :(The habitat falls to pieces.) Arnold :No! Oh... Monkeyman :(sadly) M... M... Monkeymaaaaaan!! Gerald :Hey, Arnold, where ya goin'? Arnold: :That was my last chance to find my parents. :(Gerald walks away to reveal Helga spying on her secret love from a trash can.) The park :(Arnold walks through the park looking at various happy families enjoying their evening. Abner approaches him carrying his leash.) Abner :(squeals) :(Arnold walks Abner through the park. He suddenly spots whom he believes are his parents, but it turns out not to be.) The pier :(Arnold spots the homeless and Monkeyman floating on a makeshift raft.) Monkeyman :Monkeyman! Homeless People :Monkeyman! :(Arnold makes his way back home when he once again bumps into Helga.) Helga :Hey! Sheesh, Arnoldo! Watch it! Stop crashing into me! Abner :(snorts) Helga :So, takin' a walk and thinkin' about how you've completely flopped so far in winning the San Lorenzo contest? Ha! This just in: you equals failure. Abner :(snorts angrily) Arnold :Actually, I was just kind of thinking about my life, and how I haven't seen my parents since I was a baby. I wish I could see them again. Helga :Well, I— That's news. I mean, if you... wanted to talk about... ffffff... ffffff... ffffff... (exhales) fffff... ffffeelings! Abner :(snorts angrily and butts his head at Helga's leg) Arnold :Sorry, Helga. I think Abner's gotta do a number two. See ya. C'mon, Abner. :(They walk away.) Helga :(groans) Thwarted by a dirty, imbecilic pig! All I wanted to do was tell that stupid Arnold... (takes out her locket) ...that I'm here for him! I'm listening. I'm remembering everything he says. Every deep thought, every soul-searching utterance, yes, even every hem and haw! Arnold, I've tried to tell you, but you've yet to show me that you've noticed that you have feelings, too. So I resort to what I do best: being scorchingly mean! :(Helga kicks a rock, which hits right back in her head.) Helga :Ow! Okay! I'll be kind... (sighs) And, uh, understanding, and.. :(Right on cue, Brainy emerges from the trash can behind Helga.) Brainy :(wheezes) :(As always, Helga punches the daylights out of Brainy, and he falls over into the river.) Helga :Aha! If I help Arnold win that tip to that crazy San Lorenzo and help him uncover the mystery of his long-lost parents—maybe even find the lost losers—then Arnold will be eternally grateful... and might even return my love! It's win-win! What a great plan! Whee! Big Bob's Beepers :(Helga emerges from the rooftop, takes the dust cover off something and plugs something in. It turns out to be an Arnold-shaped Bat-Signal, which Phoebe spots. Helga goes into her closet, lifts up her Arnold shrine and goes into a secret surveillance room.) Helga :Phoebe, I need a hero video stat! Phoebe :Right. Arnold tapes 155E, 17C, 101F. Pulling. Helga (on video) :How does this thing— Oh! :(On the screen, a reanimated clip from Field Trip is shown, in which Arnold and Grandma are washing Lockjaw.) Arnold (on video) :Hey, I think he's starting to trust us. Helga :Oh, that's right! Arnold even saved that dumb turtle! Arnold (on video) :Don't worry, buddy. We're bustin' you out of this joint. Helga :He's helped half the city! I'll show those fancy-pants judges why he's got to win! (to Phoebe) We're gonna need more. But now I need someone to actually make something out of all these. Outside Gerald's apartment :(Gerald is seen watching videos of Arnold helping Grandpa wash dishes, reanimated clips from Part Time Friends and Tutoring Torvald on Helga's BananaBook.) Gerald :Mm-mm-mm. This is an epic story you're asking for, Helga. Where'd you get this footage? Helga :Security cameras, okay? Gerald :Uh-huh. All labeled and organized in perfect sequence. Whoa! That's Arnold's bedroom! How'd you— Helga :(closes the laptop) Never mind! Gerald :Major creep factor aside, you know this footage is what we need to win the contest. I thought you hated Arnold. Why are you suddenly helping him? Helga :Because otherwise I'd have to watch that stupid football head mope all summer! (Gerald and Phoebe laugh knowingly) We've got to make this video work so Arnold can get to stupid San Lorenzo! It really matters to him, doi! You in? Gerald :Okay, I'm in. But only if you get everybody to help. Helga :No problem. They can just talk to Old Betsy here. Gerald :All right, let's do this. Brief montage :(On the bus, Arnold and Abner are riding their way back home. In Helga's surveillance room, Harold writes a sign saying "THE LEGEND OF ANROLD", while Sid brings Phoebe hot chocolate, who shares it with Gerald.) Sunset Arms :(The bus pulls up to the boarding house, and Arnold and Abner walk up to the door.) Grandpa :Well, that was one long, sad walk. I almost rented your room out. Arnold :(sighs) Hi, Grandpa. Grandpa :Someone came to see you. They're up on the roof. Arnold :The roof? Grandpa :I 'unno. I just work here, short man. The roof Helga :Shh, shh! :(Arnold walks up to the roof.) Arnold :(gasps) Everyone :Surprise! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold :This is incredible! Everyone's here! Gerald :You better have a seat, Arnold. Arnold :Why? What's going on? Gerald :Lights! :(The lights are dimmed and a film starts. On the screen is a sign being held up with "THE LEGEND OF A''RN''OLD" written on it. The "RN" part being taped over a misspelling. The sign is removed to reveal Sid on the stoop of the boarding house.) Sid (on film) :The Legend of Arnold will be passed down from kid generation to kid generation and onward, and Gerald is the Keeper of All Legends, the Teller of All Tales. Take it away, Gerald. Gerald (on film) :(clears throat) We call him "Arnold", friend to all, force for decency, doer of good. :(During this, reanimated clips are shown from "The Vacant Lot", "Best Friends", "The Baseball", and "Eugene's Bike".) Gerald (on film) :He's the most dependable, trusty, true blue friend I can ever imagine. Help you in a second, no questions asked. And I know plenty of others say the same. Let's hear from some people who Arnold has helped. :(Stoop Kid is seen on the stoop of City Hall.) Stoop Kid (on film) :I would've never left my stoop. And now look at me, sittin' on the biggest stoop in the city. And it's all because of Arnold. Now I can harass people from my stoop, and from off my stoop! (laughs) Anyway, guy's got a great heart. :(Rhonda is seen taking selfies with her cell phone.) Rhonda (on film) :He helped me get over myself. Now I'm tolerant, gracious, and self-effacing. Oh, and humble. I'll get a copy of this, right? :(Dino is seen on stage with Don.) Dino Spumoni (on film) :Arnold put me back together with my old partner Don and remade my career. I get applause from fans, but Arnold's the real star, baby! :(Pigeon Man is seen outside Notre Dame cathedral in Paris.) Pigeon Man (on film) :Arnold helped me escape the cage of my old rooftop habitat. Now, I'm as free as a bird! Merci, Arnold. :(Big Patty is seen bullying a kid.) Big Patty (on film) :Arnold listened to me and treated me just like another friend. He's, y'know, pure of heart. I'll never forget that, Arnold. :(During these next few lines, reactions are seen from the people watching the film.) Coach Wittenberg (on film) :I can inaudibly say that the over-esteemed Arnold put the "Coach" back into "Coach Wittenberg"! Harold (on film) :I was a one-dimensional bully until Arnold showed me my sensitive side. Curly (on film) :"Arnold". Never heard of him. Eugene: (on film) :Arnold almost killed me. Lila :(laughs) Eugene (on film) :But then saved my life, got me a new fish... :(Everyone laughs.) Eugene (on film) :...kept me from going bad. Thanks, Arnold! What a pal! :(A pigeon attacks Eugene on film. We see Eugene all bandaged and bruised.) Peapod Kid :(laughs) Eugene (on film) :I'm okay! :(During this, we see reanimated clips from "Harold's Kitty", "Mugged", "Downtown as Fruits", "24 Hours to Live" and a new clip of Arnold helping Monkey Man.) Gerald (on film) :Pure of heart. That's Arnold. And that's why he deserves to win the trip to San Lorenzo, because he's done so much for others. He's a humanitarian, just like his parents, and they help us through humanity. Monkeyman (on film) :Monkeyman! :(The entire gang, sans Arnold, is seen sitting on the boarding house stoop.) Gerald (on film) :Hey, Arnold, you're a bold kid and a true hero. :(At the end of the film, Harold and Stinky attempt to moon the camera while everyone gasps, but Sid holds up a "THE END" sign over them.) Sid (on film) :(laughs nervously) :(Applause and cheers as Arnold wipes away tears from his eyes.) Arnold :Thank you all so much! But aren't we too late to enter the contest? Mr. Simmons :I have wonderful news, Arnold! Once the Helpers for Humanity saw this video, we were immediately selected to go to San Lorenzo! That's right! We won! :(Everyone cheers, but Grandma and Grandpa look concerned.) Grandpa :Hmmm. Mr. Simmons :Never fear. I have every minute planned out for this trip. Getting anyone lost is definitely not on this agenda! Grandpa :Mmm, you ever travel with a dozen kids before? Arnold :I know this video wouldn't have happened without you, Gerald. I can't thank you enough! Gerald :You should thank Helga. This was her idea. You should see all the videos she has of— Helga :Of the things! Ha, around the city, amazing! Anyway, it's done. We're going to San Lorenzo. Arnold :Wow! Thank you, Helga! :(Arnold puts his hand on Helga's shoulder, causing her to get a buzzing sensation and hear fireworks.) Helga :(happily) Oh-ho! And I... have to go wash my socks! :(She leaves) :(A reporter is seen outside the boarding house. During this, Helga walks outside and cheers loudly and sings unaware.) News report Newswoman :So that's the story! A football-headed kid wins the contest and gets to go with his whole class to the Central American country of San Lorenzo! :(In Arnold's room.) Arnold :Believe it or not— :(The footage stops, and various shapes appear around Arnold's head until a green football-shaped outline of his head with the text "FOOTBALL SHAPE DETECTED" appears. Pull out to reveal it on a laptop while we hear sinister laughter from the person using it.) Arnold's room :(Arnold is at his desk flipping through the pages of Miles' journal. Grandpa enters.) Grandpa :Well, short man, your passport's here. Arnold :All right! Grandpa :Ah-ah-ah-ah! Not yet! Now, Arnold, I'm still worried about your taking this trip. Remember all the trouble your parents got into with that evil river pirate Lasombra? (sighs) That was practically the last time we heard from them. :(Arnold snatches the passport from Grandpa's hand.) Grandpa :Oh, fine. Don't forget to sign it with your name as it appears on your birth certificate. Arnold :(signing) Arnold... Shortman. :(Brass sting as his full name is finally revealed.) Arnold :Grandpa, San Lorenzo is a big country. I'm not going to look for this "Lasombra" guy. And I doubt if I'm gonna run into him. Grandpa :Pfft! Let's hope not! This is just a school trip to visit the rainforest, not about you finding your parents. Arnold :Don't worry, Grandpa. I'll stick with my class the whole time. But since I'll be in San Lorenzo, I have to at least look up Eduardo. He was my mom and dad's best friend. Grandpa :(sighs) Well, you could at least do that. :(Grandma kicks the door open dressed as a French general and blows a trumpet poorly.) Grandma :(holding a handmade blowpipe) Venture forth armed with this, Kimba. Grandpa :Pookie! Arnold will never get a handmade blowpipe through security! Oh, and, uh... (rummaging through Arnold's drawer, takes out a stapler) Here, short man. Take this instead. It'll remind you of home. Arnold :Um, thanks? Grandma and Grandpa :Just be careful, Arnold. The runway Stinky :That sure is a lotta luggage, Miss Rhonda. Rhonda :One bag for every day of the trip. That's how I pack. :(Mr. Simmons hugs Peter goodbye.) Mr. Simmons :Harold, why do ya have a deli platter? Harold :My mom gave me this in case there's no food in San Lorenzo. Mr. Simmons :There's plenty of food there, Harold. No platter necessary. Harold :No platter? :(Harold eats one of the sandwiches, puts the rest into his pants, and throws the platter away. As usual, we hear an inexplicable cat yowling in the background.) Helga :Oh, Arnold! Though on the outside, I appear to hate the idea of going to some godforsaken jungle with you, just merely a guise. I'll help you find your long-lost parents. And just maybe... Olga :Surprise, baby sister! I'm coming along on your San Lorenzo trip as the student teacher/chaperone! Goody! Helga :Are you kidding me? This is the worst news ever! Big Bob :I'm worried about your safety in this Saint Lawrence place, Olga. Helga :I'll be fine. Thanks, Bob. Big Bob :Oh, good. You're here. Take this bag of beepers with ya and sell 'em to the locals. Grandpa :Arnold, you're going to the jungle. So don't catch any tropical diseases like malaria, or diphtheria, or cholera... On the airplane Grandpa (cont'd) :...or yellow fever, or hookworm, or elephantitis, or leprocy, or tennis elbow... :(Arnold opens the window and suddenly sees Grandpa outside.) Arnold :(yelps) Grandpa :...or itchy armpits, or boom-boom fever, or Alder's neck rash! Crewman :(to Grandma) Hey, crazy lady! Get outta my stair truck! Grandma :(laughs dementedly) Grandpa :...or Palmer's knee, or Borneo's disease, or... I don't know... athlete's foot! Arnold :(off-screen) Y'know, I'm really gonna miss Grandma and Grandpa. :(Arnold's bag suddenly moves. He takes off his seatbelt and unzips revealing...) Abner :(squeals and licks Arnold) Arnold :Abner! What are you doing here? Abner :(squeals happily) Gerald :Guess your grandpa wasn't gonna let you leave your pig behind, Arnold. Arnold :(laughs) Yep. I guess we've got a stowaway. San Lorenzo :(The airplane touches down in San Lorenzo, and all the passengers deplane. Rhonda takes a selfie, but not before her hat comes off and her hair stands on end.) Rhonda :(gasps) My hair! Nadine :You know what they say, Rhonda. "It's not the heat. It's the humidity." Mr. Simmons :Class, let's stay together while we explore, and then go to the river docks at 3pm, then it's on the boat, and— :(The kids run off.) Mr. Simmons :Stop! Running is not on the agenda! River docks at three! Olga :Come on, baby sister! :(The kids head into some taxi cabs.) The market :(Nadine shows Rhonda a giant green scorpion.) Rhonda :(gasps, shudders) :(Rhonda goes over to a barrel where Curly is waiting for her.) Curly :Miss me? Rhonda :(yells) The village Gerald :Well, Arnold, we made it to San Lorenzo. So, where do we start looking for your parents? Arnold :Sorry, Gerald. I promised Grandpa I wouldn't, but he did say I could find their best friend, Eduardo. :(A horn honks as a scooter passes by them.) Arnold :I found this old envelope with Eduardo's address on it. Here it is! Eduardo's house :(Arnold knocks on the door, which is still open.) Gerald :Whoa. :(Arnold and Gerald survey the house, which is in ruins, and the TV is still on showing a soccer game.) Arnold :What happened? TV :¡Gooooooooooool! Arnold :It looks like Eduardo kind of left in a hurry. :(Abner makes his way toward a framed photo of Miles, Stella and Eduardo, with Eduardo's face torn out.) Abner :(sniffs, squeals anxiously) Arnold :Abner, what is it, boy? Gerald :I dunno what's buggin' Abner, but we better get back to meet Simmons, Arnold. We can't miss the boat. The boat docks :(A parade passes by as Arnold and Gerald meet up with the rest of the class.) Eduardo :Hello! Welcome! You must be Mr. Simmons and your P.S. 118 class. I am Eduardo. Everyone :Hi, Eduardo. Arnold and Gerald :Eduardo? Eduardo :(gasps) Arnold! Could it be? Arnold, it's me! Your parents' best friend! ¡Qué buena fortuna! I am the captain of this boat, and I will take you up the river to the rainforest. We'll go straight to the habitat that my group, Helpers for Humanity, made. Arnold :Yes! Like my parents made! Eduardo :Of course. We all worked together. Gerald :(shaking Eduardo's hand) Hi, I'm Gerald. What a relief. We thought that something bad— Harold :Captain Eddy, is there a toilet on this boat?! Eduardo :Of course, of course, disculpe. Where are my manners? Everyone, all aboard! (Everyone boards the boat.) Mr. Simmons :We're on the boat, we're on schedule, the captain even knows Arnold. This'll be a perfect trip! Olga :I couldn't agree more, Mr. Simmons. Eduardo :I want to introduce my crew. This is Paulo. Paulo :Hey. Eduardo :Steve. Steve :Hola. Eduardo :And Che. :(As Che enters, he is accompanied by Latin music and a dreamy-eyed Olga, who faints into Che's arms.) Helga :Everybody loves Olga. :(the boat whistle blows and the boat, the ''Doña Marina, sets sail.)'' On the river Arnold :I still can't believe I'm in San Lorenzo with you, Eduardo! Eduardo :Is it fate? Who knows? Arnold :Eduardo, I have to know, where are my parents? Are they alive? Eduardo :Ah, qué lástima. That's a mystery I have not yet solved either, amigo. But I bet you'd like to hear my stories of your parents. Arnold :Yes! Please! Eduardo :(tying the wheel of the boat) Ha! Let's see! Eh, your father was always bumping into things and breaking them. I think the first three times he met your mother, he broke something. (laughs) His arm, his head... (laughs) They were both my best friends. :(Eduardo walks over to a small chest and puts an amulet around Arnold's neck.) Eduardo :Your father would want you to have this. It was a gift to him from the Green-Eyed People. You know, they helped each other many times. :(The amulet glows a bright green.) Arnold :Huh? Eduardo :¡Ay, qué— I've never seen this happen before! You truly must be chosen, Arnold, chosen by the Green-Eyes! Surely you know that when you were born, that you silenced the erupting volcano, Volcán Turriable? Arnold :It was in my dad's journal! Eduardo :The Green-Eyes saw that, too! It fulfilled a prophecy! :(The amulet stops glowing.) Eduardo :Maybe, when we are upriver, we—you and me—we will find the Green-Eyed People. Maybe they will know the answer to the mystery of your parents. Gerald :Hey, Arnold, it's buffet time. Arnold :I, uh... Eduardo :Go on, play, Arnold, play. Friends should be with friends. The buffet Harold :I love buff-ets! Eugene :Ooh, pitaya! (He licks a pitaya fruit and immediately blows up like a balloon. He laughs.) All, I guess I'll add "pitaya" to my allergy list. Harold :I finished all the deli sandwiches, the carne con whiskers... (takes a plate of fish heads underneath him) Ooh! (he eats the fish heads, and his stomach rumbles) Ah! Hmm! Clear the bathroom! Emergency! Kill me now! Olga :(giggles) Helga :Man, Olga makes it look so easy. What's her secret? Besides being pretty and charming and nice. Olga :I'm queen of the world! Helga :(gags) Time to feed the fish! Harold :Hey! ¡Ocupado! The crow's nest :(Eduardo is looking through his binoculars. Arnold joins him.) Arnold :Hey, Eduardo! What are you looking at? Eduardo :Oh, nothing, Arnold. Nothing. But this is the jungle, and you must always be aware of the dangers here. Arnold :Like Lasombra? The river, at sunset Eduardo :So you've heard about the infamous Lasombra? He was not happy that your parents stole back from him a precious treasure called the Corazón. Arnold :Is he after me? We're in danger, aren't we? Eduardo :We could turn around and head back to safety, or we can continue ahead, and maybe, find out about your parents. Arnold :What? But I promised... No. With you to protect us, we keep going. Eduardo :Now, don't tell the others what we spoke about. I don't want to worry anyone. The river, at night Gerald :Anything wrong, Arnold? Arnold :Uh, uh, nothing. Everything's fine. Gerald :Come on, man. There's no secrets with us, right? And now you've got a secret with this guy you just met? :(Arnold just gives Gerald a look.) Gerald :Fine. :(Arnold looks toward the crow's nest. Helga walks admiring her locket when she sees Arnold climbing up to the nest.) Helga :(exhales) The crow's nest Helga :Arnold, what a surprise! I came up here to think... about life and stuff. Arnold :Yeah. Me, too. Helga :So... up here, staring into the night, trying to figure out how to tell me something, huh? Arnold :(sighs) Well, actually, I do have something to confess. Helga :(excitedly) Confess?! Like a confession?! Like a deep-seated secret you've been harboring and haven't told me?! Arnold :Yeah. You ever feel like... there's a hole in your heart? Helga :Yes! All the time. Arnold :This whole trip's been about one thing. I want to find my lost parents, but I feel like I'm about to put us all in— Helga :Yeah, yeah, I know all about your parents. How do you feel about me? Arnold :Huh? Helga :You wouldn't even be here without me! Oh, Arnold, I may act like I don't care! I may even say I hate you, but that's a cover! I actually do care about you. Arnold :Huh? Helga :Oh don't play dumb, Arnold. You know what I'm talking about! You're like some weird old wise man, for crying out loud! I know you can handle the truth, and I can, too! Arnold :What are you talking about!? Helga :I'm talking about the fact that I really like you, Arnold, like thunder likes lightning, like faces like fists! You know, like-like! In fact, I lo— Arnold :(gasps) There's a boat coming! :(Arnold climbs down the crow's nest.) Helga :(screams furiously in frustration) The boat :(Helga takes the picture of Arnold out of her locket, angrily rips it into pieces, and throws the empty locket into the river. Arnold goes up to the captain's room, but Eduardo's not there. Helga drops the ripped pieces of the picture of Arnold into the river. Arnold keeps looking for Eduardo. Helga leaves.) Brainy :(wheezes) (Brainy dives into the river. Arnold finally finds Eduardo.) Arnold :Eduardo! Abner :(sniffs Eduardo, snorts, squeals, runs away and jumps off the boat) Arnold :Eduardo! (pants) There's... a ship! :(The ship grapples onto the ''Doña Marina, and Steve and Paolo attempt to fight them off.)'' Eduardo :Arnold, it's Lasombra! Arnold :I knew it! What are we gonna do?! Eduardo :We'll fight back and get away! Stay down where they cannot see you! Arnold :But what about my friends? Eduardo :Forget them! :(The fighting continues.) Mr. Simmons :Oh, dear, a pirate attack? Not on the agenda! :(During the fight, Helga sadly walks around oblivious.) Olga :Fight hard, Che! (squeals) But don't hurt your runway-quality chiseled face! (Eduardo returns to the control room.) Eduardo :Hold on tight, amigo. (turns on some lights) Yes, my friend. I'm changing course down the Río de Oscuridad! It has tricky and dangerous rapids. He wouldn't dare to follow! :(All the students fall over and scream.) Rhonda :Ugh! Who booked this?! Eduardo :Bueno. Lasombra may be a ruthless river pirate, but he's not crazy— no, far from it. :(The boat continues its treacherous path along the Rio de Oscuridad.) Curly :Whoop! There we go! Whoop! Down again! (psychotic laughter) Oh, this is so fun! Helga :Aah! Phoebe :Hold on, Helga! Harold (in the bathroom) :Can this get any worse?! (Eugene bounces around) Eduardo :Hold on tight! :(The boat goes down a waterfall and gets wrecked. Eugene falls out of the boat.) Eugene :I'm okay. Eduardo :(kicks open the door) Everyone, abandon ship! The shipwreck, the next morning Arnold :Abner? Abner? Here, boy! Where are you? Gerald :So, who's starving? Rhonda :Oh, I have snacks in my other luggage. I'll just go back and get them. :(The ship explodes.) Rhonda :Or not. Eduardo :Now, friends, let me explain what has just happened back there. Curly :A thrilling, classic chase scene! And now we're shipwrecked and lost! Eduardo :Untrue. We have escaped an unexpected attack, and, yes, our boat is unfortunately wrecked, but there is good news. We are not lost. We can hike from here to our jungle habitat, a safe place. Eugene :Is the habitat a short walk from here? Eduardo :Oh, no. No, it's many, many... many miles... over rough trails. Rhonda :Oh, that is such bad news. Eduardo :Through steep muddy jungle... Rhonda :Ugh! Just got worse! Eduardo :But then it smooths out... Students :(gasp) Eduardo :And becomes an enormous swamp. Students :(groan) Helga :(wolf-whistles) Okay, I demand an explanation, mister! What really happened back there? Who attacked us, and why?! Eduardo :We were attacked by river pirates. Their leader is called Lasombra. He is... after Arnold. Students :(chatter nervously) Sid :Why is this Lasombra after Arnold? Eduardo :That is Arnold's business. Let's get going. Vámonos. Helga :We didn't sign up for this, Arnold, but you knew that already. Now we're literally up the river without a stinking paddle! Eduardo :No. No fighting, no fighting. We have one big job to do now, friends: to walk. We can do this. And take only what you need. :(Curly takes off his shoes as the students march onward.) The trail :(Eduardo, Arnold and the rest of the group continue onward. At one point, Helga pushes Arnold into the mud, and blows a raspberry at him.) The swamp Rhonda :Oh, gross! Get it off! Oh, I think it bit me! Aah! Nadine :Ooh! (gasps) It's like Christmas. The trail, continued :(The group plows through a rainy part of the jungle. At one point, Arnold offers Gerald some help, but he refuses. At a steep hill, while Sid helps Mr. Simmons roll Eugene up, his shoes break apart.) Sid :My Beatle boots! (sobs) The habitat Phoebe :(gasps) I see the habitat! Students :(cheer) Mr. Simmons :We're safe! Thank you, Eduardo! Eduardo :¡Vámanos, amigos! You can rest and dry out and have a hot dinner! Students :(excited cheering) Mr. Simmons :We're back on schedule! Arnold :Yeah. I guess it all worked out! Eduardo :Um, eh... may I have your attention? There's been a misunderstanding, which I would like to correct. I am not Eduardo. :(He takes off his fake mustache to reveal...) Lasombra :I am Lasombra! Students :(gasp) Lasombra :And you are now my prisoners! :(The gates close shut as Che drags Arnold away.) Arnold :No! Lasombra :And you will remain my prisoners until this football-headed boy shows me where to find the Corazón. The habitat, continued Lasombra :Thank you, all of you, for walking right into my trap. Arnold :How could you? Lasombra :Easy, see? (playing with his fake mustache) Eduardo, Lasombra, Eduardo, Lasombra, Abraham Lincoln, Frida Kahlo. Easy. Helga :Yeah, that's hilarious, La Bozo, but I'm Helga G. Pataki, and I'm not staying! So, if you'll just open the gate, we'll be on our way. Lasombra :You are staying. I went to the trouble to arrange that whole phony contest and class trip just to lure Arnold here. Rhonda :Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a question. Does this dump get Wi-Fi? Lasombra :Yes. Rhonda :(gasps) Lasombra :But I'm not giving you the password. Rhonda :You monster! Lasombra :(beat) How did you guess? (to burly guard) Go change it to the other password! And don't forget to write it down this time! Arnold :Okay, Lasombra, you have me now. You can let my friends go. Lasombra :Arnold, come on, don't be mad. You're my partner, remember? Our secret? Phoebe :Partner? Helga :What secret is he talking about? Arnold :No! I mean, he— Lasombra :Oh, Arnold didn't tell you? We planned to go look for his precious Green-Eyed People. Students :Green-Eyed People? Arnold :No! No! He's twisting it all up. I thought maybe if we found the Green-Eyes, they could tell me where my parents are. Sid :Arnold, say it ain't so! You weren't actually helping this jamoke? Gerald :I knew it! Why didn't you just tell me? Arnold :I'm sorry, Gerald, I— Mr. Simmons :You've got Benedict, Arnold! Benedict Arnold was a general who defected to the other si— Students :We know, Simmons! Helga :Sheesh! So what's so great about this mega-doofus, anyway? Lasombra :The ancient Green-Eyes foretold that a child of the volcano will save them and they believe Arnold to be that child. For years, I've sought after the mysterious Green-Eyes to get my hands on their even more mysterious Corazón. Phoebe :(reading from a Spanish dictionary) "Corazón. Translation: heart." Lasombra :With him by my side, the Green-Eyes are sure to show themselves to me. :(Lasombra motions to the burly guard, who flips a switch.) Lasombra :As you see, I've made a career of stealing and selling all that is precious in Central America. But one treasure still alludes me: the Corazón. Curly :Psst! Do you need an inside man? I can be the camp snitch. Wink. Lasombra :Sorry, kid. You are too loco even for us villains. Helga :Great job bringing us all here for your bogus contest, and instead, you sap, we're all prisoners of some stinking psycho river pirate! Arnold :Listen, Helga, I— I didn't want to hurt— Lasombra :Ah, save the speech, you'll be fine. As for all of you, lock them up! Arnold :(gasps) What?! Che :You heard the boss. Move it! Olga :I can't believe you did this, Che! Guards :¡Muévelo, muévelo! ¡Rapido, rapido! Students :(angry accusations at Arnold) Eugene :I'm really disappointed in Arnold. Students :(gasp) :(A guard locks the gate.) Olga :(crying) Helga :Next chance I get, I'm knockin' that dingus, Arnold, into next week! Later that night :(Arnold is kept in a separate cell with one Flunky Guard "keeping watch", but actually sleeping, with the keys right in his hand. Arnold opens his backpack, and takes out a framed photo of his parents.) Arnold :Mom, Dad, all these years I hoped that we'd find each other and be a family again. But... I guess I'm never going to find you. I'll never know what happened to you. (sobs) :(Whip to the other side of the wall as Helga hears Arnold's sobs.) Arnold :Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Helga :Oh, Arnold. You poor, tortured creature. Having known the depths of your despair, I wouldn't have left your side in your time of loneliness! If ever you needed my love, it's now, and you have it, forever and always. I must do anything, make any sacrifice, to help you find your parents! Oh, Arnold, you magnificent specimen! I'm coming for you! :(Helga reaches inside her shirt for her locket, before remembering what she did with it.) Brainy :(wheezes) Uh, Helga? :(Brainy holds in his hands the locket, with the picture of Arnold restored.) Helga :Brainy? Ohhh! I could hit you! (She kisses him instead) Mwah! :(Brainy just stands confused, but then gets out some pan pipes and dances merrily.) Helga :Phoebe, Gerald! Gerald :What's up, Helga? Helga :Look, Arnold may be a total sap who traded all of our lives for a bag of metaphorical magic beans, but he needs our help. We gotta do something! Gerald :Ugh. That kid's gonna be doin' my chores for weeks to make up for this, but I'm in. What's the plan? Helga :Phoebe? Phoebe :Hmmm. We can't all escape at the same time. They'll certainly notice our absence and capture us again. Gerald :Okay. So, Helga, you and I bust Arnold out so we can find these "Green-Eyed People", and, Phoebe... Phoebe :I'll take care of everything here. Even later that night Harold :(crying) I miss Arnold! (crying) :(Helga and Gerald nod at Phoebe, who nods at Curly.) Curly :Yah! (rides Olga like a horse) Hi-ho, Silver! Olga :Oh, no! Curly has gone completely crazy! Get him off of me! Help! Curly :(laughs) Phoebe :See you on the other side... (kisses Gerald on the cheek) ...handsome. :(Gerald blushes. He and Helga jump on top of the still inflated Eugene.) Eugene :(laughs) It tickles! :(Helga and Gerald jump right into Arnold's cell.) Arnold :What's go— (Helga covers Arnold's mouth.) Helga :Shhh! Arnold :(quietly) What are you guys doing here? Gerald :(quietly) We're your rescue committee. Arnold :I thought you guys hated me. Helga :(scoffs) Well, of course, everyone hates you, Bucko, but we've gotta bust you out of here and find those "Green-Eyes" if we wanna save ourselves. Arnold :But what can we do? Lasombra won. Helga :Don't you give up now! Your blind optimism is one of your most annoying qualities. :(beat) Helga :Besides, after the Green-Eyes help us, they might have some information on your parents. Arnold :Come on! (Arnold attempts to take the key from the guard.) Flunky Guard :Zzzzzzzz.... Hmm? Oh... (mumbles) Arnold :(taking out stapler) Grandpa said this would come in handy. :(Arnold successfully snatches the keys from the guard's hand and replaces it with the stapler. He unlocks the door with ease. Suddenly the guard wakes up.) Flunky Guard :Oh, what? What are you—? Why are you—? :(Helga knocks the guard out with the stapler.) Helga :Grandpa was right, Football Head. :(Back in the cell, Wild Bill Curly is still riding his steed, Olga.) Curly :(laughs) Olga :Watch it! This isn't funny anymore! :(Arnold, Gerald and Helga scale the wall to make sure there are no guards. Helga gives the "all-clear" signal and they run for it. But not before Arnold looks at Phoebe, who gives him a thumbs up.) Phoebe :Nadine, now! :(Nadine blows a bug from a tube, which is a spider, which lands on a guard's nose.) Guard #1 :Oh, ¡araña! (screams) :(The guard falls over, tripping into the rope that opens the gate, allowing Arnold, Helga, and Gerald to escape.) The San Lorenzo wilderness :(Arnold, Gerald, and Helga are still making their getaway, when they come to a stop.) Gerald :We did it! We're free! :(Gerald holds out his fist, which Arnold accepts and they do their handshake again.) Arnold :Thanks for not giving up on me, Gerald. :(Helga looks down and notices a creepy crawly on her hand.) Helga :Ah! Well, now that you dragged us to stinkin' San Nowhere-zo, how do we find these Green-Eyes? Arnold :Don't worry. I've got a map, and according to my dad's journal, the Green-Eyes live somewhere around here. (points to the area labeled "Unknown") Come on! Helga :Cute. He's got a map. Back at the habitat (Two henchmen drag the beat-up flunky to Lasombra.) Lasombra :What's going on? Flunky Guard :Jefe, the weird-headed mocoso escaped. It's not my fault! Lasombra :So, did a small child knock you out, or did you just fall asleep, pobrecito? Flunky Guard :(crying) Please, Jefe, don't kill me! Lasombra :(chuckles, laughs heartily) Guard #1 and #2 :(laugh along) Lasombra :Ah, well done. You did exactly as I wanted. Guard #1 and #2 :Hmm? Flunky Guard :I did? :(Lasombra lifts up another dust cover revealing a radar screen.) Lasombra :See? I intended for him to escape. The Green-Eyes would not have shown themselves if I was with him, so I put a tracking device on him. Now, he will lead me straight to them. Gather the crew. We're going hunting for Green-Eyes... and their precious Corazón. In the jail Curly :(Still laughing) Olga :(gasps) Oh no! They've already discovered that Arnold has escaped! Baby sister! (sobs) Phoebe :Don't panic, Olga. Do you still have that bag of Big Bob's beepers? Olga :Right here. But these can only receive messages. It's one-way communication... Just like me and Che. Phoebe :But Rhonda's phone can send a message. Rhonda :News flash: nada bar-os! (gasps) :(Phoebe takes Rhonda's cell phone and breaks it apart.) Phoebe :I can tap into Lasombra's Wi-Fi signal... Rhonda :My phone! Phoebe :...and transit a low-data package that will bypass the need for a password. Now we need to scavenge some additional parts. :(Some time later, the rest of the gang find an old telephone, a paint roller, a car battery, and some wire hangers. They make some kind of device.) Phoebe :8-0-8 for "Bob"... and 5-0-5 for "SOS". Voila! We now have a long-wave homing beacon sending our precise coordinates. Big Bob's Beepers :(As usual, Miriam is drunkenly asleep on the couch.) Big Bob :(sarcastically) Thanks for the help on the new display, Miriam. Whoa! :(The beepers begin to activate.) Miriam :Huh? Oh, I'm up, I'm up. Big Bob :Beepers are freaking out. I don't get it. What does—What does "505-808" mean? Miriam :Oh, that's beeper code for "SOS, Bob." "SOS" means "help". Big Bob :I know what "SOS" means, but who would want my help now, Miriam? Miriam :Aren't the girls on a field trip? Big Bob and Miriam :(gasp) Olga! :(They run out of the store and into Bob's Hummer.) Miriam :Oh, and the other one! Big Bob :Oh, right, right, Helga! Sunset Arms :(The doorbell buzzes.) Grandpa :All right, all right. Keep your pants on. :(Grandpa opens the door to find...) Grandpa :Abner?! Abner :(desperate squeal) Grandpa :How in the Toledo did you get here? Grandma :Oh, my! W-W-What happened? Abner :(squealing) :(Flashback revealing Abner diving out of the boat.) Grandma :What? Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner swims to shore, only to be pursued by a water snake.) Grandma :No! Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :(gasps) No! :(In flashback, Baner takes a ride with a bunch of bandits.) Abner :(squeals) Grandma :Are you kidding me?! Abner :(continues grunting) :(In flashback, in a Tom and Jerry-esque fashion, the snake hitches onto the back spare tire of the bandits' Jeep.) Grandma :There's no way that happened. Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner leaps onto the wheel of a plane, still being chased by the snake, which also latches onto the wheel.) Grandma :Oh, my stars! Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :Well, you are blowing my mind! Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner is seen riding first class, being offered a shrimp cocktail.) Grandma :Well, then what— Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :Oh, what? Abner :(continues grunting) :(Somehow, the snake is seen riding coach. Back to Sunset Arms.) Grandma :They serve cocktail in first class? Grandpa :Ya came all the way to tell us about shrimp cocktail? Grandma :No! It's Arnold! He's in trouble! Grandpa :But Arnold's in San Lorenzo. :(Through the magic of cartoon physics, Grandma is suddenly in a military uniform driving the Packard.) Grandma :Well, what are you waiting for, an invitation? We gotta rescue Arnold! :(The Packard drives away revealing the snake.) The airport :(Grandpa and Grandma are attempting to catch a plane to San Lorenzo. Grandpa holds up a cardboard sign saying "San Lorenzo." A stocking leg appears from the right.) Grandma :Ah? Ha ha ha, yeah! Grandpa :Oh, Pookie, not the fake hitchhiking leg! Grandma :Oh, stick-in-the-mud! :(Big Bob's Hummer pulls up in front of them.) Big Bob :Phil? Gertrude? You guys are still alive? Grandpa :Imagine that! Big Bob :What in the Big Bob's Beepers are you doing here? Grandpa :Trying to get to San Lorenzo! Miriam :Hey, us, too! Big Bob :Well, you need a ride? We got a plane! :(Wipe to reveal the Hummer pulling up to a fancy small plane.) Grandpa :Wow! Fancy plane! The beeper business must be booming! Big Bob :Oh. No, that's not us. This is. :(Pan right to reveal a run-down old plane with the words "Rent Me" on the wing.) Abner :(squeals) Back in San Lorenzo :(Arnold, Helga, and Gerald approach a waterfall.) Gerald :So how do we get past this waterfall? Arnold :(surveying the map) Okay, my guess is that we're... I don't know. :(Helga and Gerald notice something.) Helga :Hey, Football Head, your shirt is glowing! Arnold :What? (takes out the glowing amulet) Because it's next to the map? :(Arnold uses the amulet to reveal hidden markings on the map.) Arnold :Look! It's a key! There's a hidden path behind the waterfall! :(The trio walk the path behind the waterfall and come to a wall covered in vines.) Helga :Are you sure you're even reading that map right? Arnold :I'm positive. Helga :(looks through the amulet) Oh, sure. So there should be some sort of giant eyeball here? You got us lost, Football Head! Gerald :(uncovers the vines) Did I hear someone mention a giant eyeball? Helga :Arnold, fork over the map. (Looks at the map to see two red markings on the giant eyeballs.) Oh, for crying out loud! :(Helga pushes the buttons as directed on the map to open the doors.) Arnold :Good thinking, Helga! You're brilliant! Helga :(lovingly) Oh! (back to mean) Well, at least one of us can read! :(The doors close suddenly behind her.) Helga :Aah! :(Helga runs and steps on a stone, which sinks.) Arnold :Booby trap! :(Arnold jumps onto Helga, avoiding an arrow heading for them.) Helga :Did I say it was okay to touch me?! Gerald :Oh, boy. :(Arnold looks at the map through the amulet.) Arnold :Oh my gosh! This shows us which tiles to avoid. Forward, forward, forward, left, forward... Arnold, Gerald, and Helga :Forward, left, forward, right... Arnold :Maybe we're supposed to— Oof! :(Helga and Gerald bump into Arnold, setting off another booby trap, which they narrowly avoid. Helga whacks the journal in Arnold's face.) :(Later, the trio travel on before Arnold stops the other two.) Arnold :Hold it! It says there's some kind of false floor here. Follow my lead. :(Arnold swings onto a rope and lands on the other side, followed by Helga, then Gerald, who almost falls off a cliff.) Gerald :Whoa whoa whoa! Arnold :Gerald! :(Arnold saves him, but Helga once again whacks the journal in Arnold's face.) :(Crossfade to the three coming upon a tunnel.) Arnold :It looks like we have to hug the wall. (The three narrowly walk against the wall and out of the tunnel.) Arnold :This way! Meanwhile :(Lasombra and his henchmen force the first door open with their swords.) Lasombra :Well done, volcano boy. :(They walk forward, but Lasombra steps onto one of the traps.) Lasombra :¿Qué es esto? ("What is this?") :(Arrows start flying in their direction.) Pirate #1 :¡Ándale, ándale! (Lasombra avoids the arrows by using the Flunky Guard as a literal human shield.) Lasombra :What? :(Lasombra comes upon the false floor, but stops short.) Lasombra :(to Pirate #2) Please. You first. Pirate #2 :No, Jefe! You first. Lasombra :No, no, no, I insist. (draws a sword threateningly) You first. :(The pirate steps and falls through.) Pirate #2 :Shouldn't have gone first!!! Lasombra :Impressive. :(They rope their way to the other side.) :(Lasombra and the others are at the tunnel.) Lasombra :Let's go! :(No one responds.) Lasombra :Fine. Good luck coming back the way we came. :(The henchmen follow him.) Pirate #1 :¡Espéreme! :(Lasombra hides inside the tunnel, leading the others to their doom.) Pirate #1 :¿Jefe? :(Giant boulders fall on the other henchmen, while Lasombra escapes unscathed.) Lasombra :Eyes on the prize. Ahead on the trail :(Arnold, Gerald, and Helga approach a well covered in flowers with markings, when Arnold's amulet stops glowing.) Arnold :Hmm. The amulet stopped glowing. There's no more information on the map. Helga :Oh, for crying out loud! Gerald :Well, if you don't mind, I could use a break. My dogs are barking. Arnold :We'll have to find the Green-Eyes on our own from here. Helga :You have got to be kidding me! This is the middle of nowhere, Football Head! :(Gerald sinks into the well.) Gerald :Whoa! Arnold :Gerald! Are you okay? Helga :Gerald? Whoa! :(Helga and Arnold fall into the well and into a pit of leafs.) Gerald :Mm-mm-mm. Arnold, this statue sure looks a lot like you. Helga :Hmm. I gotta say, it's not half-bad. I've seen better. :(The trio suddenly find themselves surrounded by villagers in animal skins brandishing weapons.) Arnold :It's them! It's the Green-Eyes! Green-Eye #1 :(gasps) Green-Eyes :Arnold... Arnold... The jail :(Mr. Simmons, who by this time, has completely lost his mind, has created a makeshift classroom in the jail.) Mr. Simmons :Class, with a little ingenuity, we can transform tragedy into a teachable moment. :(Pull out to reveal he is literally teaching a class full of monkeys.) Mr. Simmons :Okay, class, listening ears! :(The guards laugh at the unhinged teacher.) Phoebe :Well, so much for adult supervision. We have to break out now, and I'll need everyone's help. First, Olga, you distract the guards. Olga :(waving a handkerchief) Yoo-hoo! El Guard-o! :(Olga and the guard "flirt" with each other, before Che sees through the ruse and punches the youknowwhat out of him. Olga gives a thumbs-up signal.) Phoebe :(voiceover) Next, Nadine, you get us the keys. :(Nadine lets some bugs crawl up a guard's pant leg. The guard screams and lets go of the keys. Nadine and Stinky pull the rug with the keys through the door.) Phoebe (voiceover) :Harold and Sid, you get the other guards to come down to ground level. Sid :Air guitar! Harold :Look at me! I'm a distraction! Phoebe (voiceover) :I'll use my makeshift electromagnet to disarm the guards. :(Rhonda kicks the magnet, which rolls and takes away the guards' swords.) Phoebe (voiceover) :Next, unleash the Curly! Curly :FREE THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO!!! :(Curly releases all the poached animals and they attack the guards. The rest of the class escapes, including the still merry piper, Brainy.) Mr. Simmons :Class... Curly :Let's go, buddy! Phoebe (voiceover) :With the guards safely locked away, we simply walk out the front door. :(Or not. Because behind the door is another thug brandishing two machetes.) Rhonda :Phoebe, what do we do now? :(A plane engine roars, the very plane that the Patakis and Shortmen flew.) Grandma :(parachuting down) Geronimo! Grandpa :Sacagawea! Big Bob :Gesundheit! Miriam :(teeth chatter) Eugene :Wow, Phoebe, you thought of everything! Big Bob :You kids okay? We got your message. :(The guards escape from their cell, leaving the kids in a panic.) Sid :Oh no! Olga :Oh, Daddy, that boy was mean to me! :(Bob rages and attacks Che.) Big Bob :You and me are gonna go round and round! Grandma :Yah! Tee-Yah! Harold :Eat wrench! Take it! Mr. Simmons :Agenda, comin' through! Sid and Stinky :(scared yelling) Big Bob :Aha! :(Miriam whacks a guard with a frying pan.) :(A guard approaches Rhonda, who is driving a forklift.) Rhonda :Ah! :(The guard chops off Rhonda's hair.) Rhonda :My poor hair! :(Sid is pursued by another guard, when Grandpa knocks him out with the outhouse door.) Guard :Ya-ha-ha! Ah! Grandpa :Don't go in there for a while. Curly :Watch out for the boss! Eugene :I'm like the big ball in that movie! :(Che and Bob narrowly avoid the driverless forklift, which crashes into the water tower.) Guard #2 :(flying on a sofa) ¿Qué pasa? :(The water tower floods the area.) Guard #2 :Ooh! Pardon me, oh! :(Che gets the heck out of dodge as the camp site explodes. The students find themselves alone.) Grandpa :Arnold! Arnold! Where are ya, short man? Phoebe :Mr. Shortman... Grandma :Grrr... Phoebe :Arnold's up there... Somewhere. Grandma :Oh. The Green-Eyed People's temple (The Green-Eyed children are carrying Arnold on a palanquin, while Helga and Gerald follow them.) Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Arnold :Come on, guys! We need your help! Our friends are prisoners of Lasombra! Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Arnold :Yeah. I got that. :(Helga and Gerald are sauntering when they bump into the Green-Eyed children, who stop.) Helga :Hey, what's the big idea? The hidden city :(The children come to a door, which they open to reveal a truly stunning CGI'd paradise.) Arnold :Whoa! The Green-Eyed People's hidden city! Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Helga :Yeah, yeah. (imitating the children) "Arnold..." We get it! Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Arnold... Gerald :Do you notice anything strange about this place? There are no grownups here. Green-Eyed girl :(giggles) Helga :That's the weird part?! :(The children lead Arnold to a curtained area, which Arnold approaches. The curtain pulls back to reveal a Green-Eyed girl wearing a very decorative tunic, the top of which is a topiary shaped like Arnold's head.) Helga :Finally, a bigwig in charge! Gerald :Literally. Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Helga :What? She's a kid, too? Girl Queen :Arnold. Arnold :Please, can you help us? Helga :(aside, to Gerald) You don't suppose she hablas inglés? Gerald :I got this. Hey, girl. How's it goin'? (The Girl Queen walks right by Gerald and takes Arnold's hand.) Helga :What the-? Gerald :Man, why can't I'' ever be the chosen one? :(The Girl Queen, Arnold and the others come upon the city's centerpiece.)'' Helga :All right, close enough, sister! Gerald :Hey, Arnold, check it out! :(He points to a mural.) Helga :Looks like the king is... sleeping? Lazy much? Arnold :This must be about the sleeping sickness... that my parents came here to cure. Girl Queen :Arnold... kashwa batiqua! Gerald :Looks like she's giving us the grand tour. Helga :(scoffs) Better be grand. We've come a long way for this. Gerald :Look! There's a bunch of people sleeping over here, too! Helga :So is this what happened to all the grownups in this joint? They're asleep? :(Arnold comes upon a mural depicting his parents.) Arnold :Mom! Dad! (to Girl Queen) Do you know where they are? Please, do you know these people? Girl Queen :El dedwa kal dedu. O mashnee wateeb. Arnold :Oh, my gosh. These paintings are like straight out of my dad's journal! That's the first time they brought the serum to the Green-Eyes. Gerald :The serum? Arnold :Yeah, the cure for the sleeping sickness. But at some point, they didn't have enough? Gerald :What's going on here, Arnold? Arnold :My parents are making more of the cure? Girl Queen :O mashnee wateeb. Kashwa batiqua-al. Nee-fwash. Arnold :It's the Corazón! Gerald :The treasure Lasombra's so crazy about? Arnold :Child of the volcano. Is that supposed to be me? Girl Queen :Nee-fwash! Arnold! De cori masi pura! Green-Eyed Children :(cheer) :(Two Green-Eyes uncork water, which soaks into a well, revealing a green idol. A plank appears, which Arnold walks over.) Arnold :What am I supposed to do? Girl Queen :O mashnee wateeb! Katida! Arnold :I know you want me to do something, but I need more to go on. Gerald :This... whatever-it-is looks like the thing from the painting. See? Up there. In the middle. Helga :Hey, yeah. And they've got the Corazón there, too. Arnold :But I don't know what to do. Lasombra :I'' know what to do! ''¡Buenos días, partner! Green-Eyes :(gasp) Girl Queen :Parqa main kukui, Lasombra! Lasombra :So you've heard of me. How flattering. Well, I am infamous. (laughs, then gasps) At last. The Corazón. The sacred treasure of the Green-Eyed People is finally mine! Arnold :No, it's not yours! We need it! It's got something to do with the sleeping sickness! Lasombra :Oh. You think so? Well, it's too late. It's mine now! And you, my fabled football-headed friend, led me right to it. Arnold :What? Lasombra :Oh. You did not realize you were wearing a tracking device? Arnold :The amulet? Helga :Gah! Of course! Lasombra :Yes. I used the Green-Eyed People's own treasure against them. I though it was a very clever evil touch. And after centuries of being hidden, you, Arnold, brought me right to them. Helga :Where are our friends? Lasombra :(taking the treasure) Ah, don't worry. My guards are keeping an eye on them. Speaking of which, who is guarding this place? Wait. You are all children. Helga :Uh, doi! Welcome to five minutes ago! Lasombra :A hidden city, full of treasures and no guard, and only children, to stop me from taking it all? Why stop at the Corazón? Arnold :No! You can't take their things! Lasombra :You're right. Why take anything when I could bring people here and sell it to them? I could charge admission! I can see it now: "Hidden-City Land." (gets knifed in the back) Ow! How dare you? Ah! (gets bombarded by the kids) You meddling— You don't understand capitalism! :(Arnold notices his amulet glowing again.) Lasombra :Aah! Green-Eyes :(gasp) Girl Queen :Cas dequa! Lasombra :I can see we're not wanted here, Arnold. ¡Vámonos! Arnold :No! Lasombra :No? (laughs) I need you, partner! Helga :Oh! A rope bridge :(Lasombra and the still hostage Arnold come upon the clichéd rickety rope bridge. Lasombra steps onto a board, which breaks.) Lasombra and Arnold :(scream) Lasombra :Come on! :(Lasombra grabs Arnold by his backpack strap, and a rope begins to pull apart.) Helga :Arnold! Gerald :Stop! Arnold :Guys, wait! Don't! Helga :Oh, criminy! So, of course, I've got to go out on the stupid rope bridge to save the stupid Football Head. Gerald :Oh, man. Can't believe I'm doing this. :(Lasombra and Arnold reach the other side as Lasombra pushes Arnold to the ground. Lasombra is about to cut the bridge when Arnold stops him.) Arnold :(gasps) No! (to Helga and Gerald) Go back! Helga and Gerald :(yell) :(The rope snaps, and Helga and Gerald hang on. The other ropes snap and the bridge falls forward.) Arnold :Helga! Gerald! hang on! Lasombra :(laughs) Come here, Volcano Boy. Arnold :Let me go! Ugh! Lasombra :Let you go? You are the only one who can open it! Arnold :No! We need to save my friends! Lasombra :(brandishing a sword at Arnold) First, open the Corazón, then you can play with your little amigos. Helga :Take your time, Arnoldo! We just love hanging out here! :(Arnold looks through the amulet, which shows him what to do. Arnold pushes the top, and the head spins revealing a different face.) Lasombra :Oh... (Arnold looks through the amulet again and pushes the corresponding buttons on the idol. After the head shows another different face, the idol opens its doors revealing the sacred Corazón.) Arnold :(gasps) It's the heart of gold! Lasombra :(shoves Arnold) Out of my way! Arnold :Oh! Lasombra :So beautiful. And it's all mine. :(The idol changes into an angry face and blows a poisonous dart at Lasombra.) Lasombra :(grunts and falls over the cliff) Gerald :I want to unsee that! Arnold :Take my hand! Ugh! Gerald :Pull! Arnold :I'm trying! Helga :Try harder! Arnold :Whoa! :(He falls off the side of the cliff and hangs onto the rope bridge, the bottom of which falls off.) Arnold, Gerald, and Helga :(scream) :(Arnold and Helga look tearfully into each other's eyes, knowing full well this may be the end. Suddenly a rope comes in their direction.) Eduardo (the real Eduardo) :Come on up, mijos! Arnold :Who's that? Gerald :Who cares? :(They climb up the rope to the silhouetted ''caballero.)'' Gerald :Hey, aren't you...? Arnold :Eduardo! It's really you? Eduardo :Hello, my— Helga :Wait! Not another "Eduardo!" "Your parents' trusted friend with a mustache?" Ha! I've heard that before! Why should we trust him? Eduardo :You are welcome to climb back down. Arnold :How'd you find us? :(During this, Helga approaches the idol and stares at the Corazón.) Eduardo :I have been following you since your class came to San Lorenzo. I suspected that Lasombra would use you to get to the Green-Eyed People somehow. They broke into my place and kidnapped me. I escaped, but got to the dock too late. I had to chase you in another boat. Gerald :Oh! On the river! We thought we were being attacked by pirates. Eduardo :No. It was me. I lose you at the rapids, but I was able to pick up your trail where you crashed. :(The rope behind them pulls back.) Arnold :I'm so glad you're here! We found the Green-Eyed People's hidden city! It's where my parents disappeared. Eduardo :So, then, you have seen them? Miles and Stella are— are alive? Arnold :I... I don't know! :(Lasombra climbs back over the cliff, his face is now green from the poisonous dart.) Lasombra :So, you finally caught up to us, Eduardo! You call that a mustache? Eduardo :Did you think you could get away with this, Lasombra? Miles and Stella protected the Green-Eyed People from you, and now their son will, too. :(Arnold smiles sheepishly at this.) Lasombra :Always so presumptuous. (takes dart out of his forehead) They're not safe yet! (yells) :(Eduardo and Lasombra fight as Lasombra attempts to stick the dart in Eduardo. Helga covers Lasombra's face with his bag, and Gerald and Arnold hold him down, but Lasombra kicks them away, and unintentionally causes the Corazón to fall off the stone.) Lasombra :Give it to me! It's mine! :(The Corazón falls down into the mist, lost forever. Lasombra grabs Arnold.) Lasombra :You pest! Just like your parents! I'm going to throw you over the cliff! Go get it! (wheezes) :(The poison takes its final toll on Lasombra, but not before he tears the amulet off of Arnold's neck and then falls to his death.) Eduardo :(sighs) He died the way he lived. Full of poison. Arnold :The Corazón! It was sacred to them! Now it's... gone. Helga :Hey, Football Head, we're alive, okay? Now let's go back to that hidden city and find out what happened to your parents. Gerald :One question? How are we gonna get back over there? Eduardo :Um, I prefer the stone bridge myself. :(Pan left to reveal a stone bridge.) Gerald :Well, all right, then. The hidden city Girl Queen :(gasps) Arnold, kamika shua mifash! Rishwah katida? Eduardo :Pushmura, melisimio akura kasamada? Girl Queen :(to her servants) Conash, miwati! (to Eduardo) Dewi nomesh, ononio chinomala. Do kui-ui. Eduardo :Arnold, your parents are here. She will take us to where they lie. :(The Green-Eyes show Arnold a fortress revealing his parents lying together in a stone bed.) Arnold :(gasps) Dad? Mom? It's me. Helga :Arnold... Arnold :Are they... Eduardo :No, no. It's the sleeping sickness, from over nine years ago. Arnold :But they had a cure. Gerald :Yeah, and it had something to do with that big stone wheel thingy in the temple. Helga :Ol' Whatsername's gotta know about it. Girl Queen :Nası kotu do kui-ui. Eduardo :They believe that you are the one to open the Corazón, and with the heart of gold inside, you would awaken the sleeping parents and reunite them with their sleeping parents. Arnold :The Corazón was the cure? Gerald :But... it went over the cliff. Arnold :We have to tell her what happened. Eduardo :Posamari marisamoray Lasombra. Girl Queen :(crying) Green-Eyes :(sobbing) Girl Queen :Mi coredad! Gerald :But they're alive! There's gotta be a way to wake up your parents! :(Helga suddenly gets an idea.) The temple :(Helga approaches the stone wheel. Arnold comes behind her.) Arnold :Helga, what are you doing? Helga :This must be it! You were supposed to put the heart of gold here, and then, well, something would happen. I'm not a scientist. Eduardo :I'' know what this is. These are the controls to a machine Miles told me about. The Green-Eyed People would put herbal formulas in the center altar, and the machine would spread them aromatically. '''Arnold' :My dad and mom knew about this! It's in the mural! So, instead of herbs... (gasps) Look! They put the cure right here, so it could cure the whole city at once! Eduardo :Ah, genius! Arnold :But, without the heart of gold, the Green-Eyes... my parents... they can't be cured. Helga :I... might have something that would work. (reveals her locket) It's, uh, a heart. I think it could fit. This is just gold-''plated''. It's not a very pure heart. Arnold :I don't know. I think your heart... is more pure than you know. Helga :(swooningly) Oh! :(Helga gives Arnold the locket and he attempts to place it in the center of the wheel, with a little bit of difficulty.) Helga :You are such a football head. :(Helga turns the locket and it locks in place, causing the city to rumble.) Girl Queen :Rishwa katida! Green-Eyes :(cheer) :(The machine continues to work and open all the roofs of the sleeping parents.) Girl Queen :Hashwa ropasa watash! :(An eruption geyser occurs in the temple.) Girl Queen :Arnold, humish ginoma sapura! Batiqua nee-fwash. Wata kui-ui! :(The butterflies begin to awaken.) Girl Queen :Bodash, leewa tidi, nee-fwash! Green-Eyes :(cheer) Helga :Okay, what's going on? Arnold :There's butterflies. Wait, could that mean...? :(The Green-Eyed adults all begin to wake up and reunite with their children.) Green-Eyed Children :Papa! Mama! :(Arnold comes upon the room where his parents are, and they begin to awaken as well.) Miles and Stella :Hey... Arnold. :(Arnold approaches his parents and hugs them, as butterflies fly into the sky.) Later that evening :(The Girl Queen's mother retrieves the crown that is rightfully hers, and she is happily reunited with the Green-Eyed People's rulers.) Green-Eyed People :Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Stella :Looks like you finished the work we started, Arnold. Miles :I'm so proud of you, son. Gerald :Mm-mm-mm, now I've seen everything! Miles, Stella, Eduardo, and Arnold :(laugh) Arnold :Good one, Gerald. Helga? :(Helga walks over to the temple and attempts to unlatch the locket from the wheel.) Arnold :Hey, Helga. Helga :Ah! Hey, Arnold. :(The arrow Helga was using drops and she kicks it away.) Arnold :Helga, I've known you my whole life practically, and you've always been angry and... and kinda... y'know, mean. Helga :Yeah! So? Arnold :But... I've also seen you be really loyal and super brave. So I always wondered if maybe you were mean to me because... well, you loved me? Helga :Love? You? Well, yeah, sure, I mean, like I love a root canal! Haha! Arnold :Listen, I know you tried to tell me before, and Iw wasn't ready to hear it. But now, this whole thing: the trip to San Lorenzo, getting away from Lasombra, finding my parents... it's all 'cause of you. Your locket. Helga :Locket? What locket? :(The locket falls out of the wheel.) Arnold :Your locket. It woke up my parents. You did it all just to help me, and... and... :(Arnold holds Helga's hands and kisses her. Helga's foot lifts up into the air.) Gerald :Mm-mm-''mmm!'' :(Arnold and Helga pull away from each other as Helga whistles innocently.) Gerald :Okay. Now I've seen everything! :(Miles and Stella look lovingly at each other.) Sunset Arms, later that fall :(Arnold wakes up in his bed unsure of his surroundings.) Arnold :(gasps) :(Arnold walks downstairs.) Arnold :Mom? Dad? Ernie :Hey, Gramps, what's for breakfast?! I'm starvin' over here, starvin'! Oskar :Make me a sandwich, old man! Mr. Hyunh :Crispy fries and a tofu burger for me, please, and step on it! :(Arnold gets teary-eyed, beginning to suspect his whole adventure was only a dream, until...) Miles :Breakfast is served! Eggs in a basket! Grandma :Don't you mean toad-in-a-hole? Stella :We call it eggs in a basket. Ernie :Finally, someone with some sense around here! Grandpa :No disrespect, but you've both been asleep for ten years. What do you know about breakfast? Arnold :(laughs) Mom! Dad! You're really back! Miles and Stella :Hey, Arnold! Miles :Were you having that same dream again where you never found us? Arnold :Yeah, the same dream I've been having all summer. Stella :It's no dream, Arnold. You really came and rescued us, and now we're really back home with you. What do you say we go on an adventure today? I read that the city botanical gardens has a new rainforest exhibit. Arnold :Sounds great, but... it's actually the first day of school. Stella :Oh, of course! We knew that. Miles :Sure. We're hip. Abner :(squeals) Arnold :C'mon, Abner! Mr. Hyunh :Creepy... Grandma :Who is that cute little blonde boy? Outside the boarding house Arnold :Bye, everyone! (Everyone bids Arnold goodbye as all the animals run out of the boarding house, followed by some San Lorenzan wildlife.) Gerald :Well, Arnold, you ready for the worst day of school? Arnold :You mean the first day of school? Gerald :That's what I said. Arnold :Come on, Gerald, look at the bright side. We're in sixth grade now. How bad could it be? :(They give their thumbs-up handshake.) The street :(Arnold, Gerald, Helga and Phoebe come to the same corner they bumped into each other almost three months ago, this time, without error. Gerald and Phoebe walk hand in hand together. Arnold touches Helga's hand.) Helga :Oh! (pulls away) Hey! Who said you could touch me?! Miles and Stella :Hey Arnold! Stella :Can we walk with you to school? Miles :Yeah, we already miss you! Arnold :(laughs) Sure, Mom and Dad! P.S. 118 Student :Hey Arnold! (The students walk into the school chattering.) Mr. Simmons :Welcome back! Stinky :Hey, Arnold! Mr. Simmons :I still have a job! Arnold :You'll have to stay outside, okay? Stella :Uh, okay. Miles :When will you be done? :(The school bell rings.) Arnold :Uh, 3:30. Stella :We'll be waiting right here. :(Arnold walks into the school and the doors close on Miles and Stella. Roll credits.)